


02:48:12:16 and counting

by joeschmuckatelli



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Sadstuck
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-02-13
Updated: 2013-02-13
Packaged: 2017-11-29 03:10:54
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,515
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/682046
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/joeschmuckatelli/pseuds/joeschmuckatelli





	02:48:12:16 and counting

02:48:12:16 and counting. 

“Sollux—“

“Hey.”

Karkat stands in the door way, his expression pinched and his fists balled. The nurse stands in the hall way, a look of disinterest on her face. Gamzee stands just behind him, hand on the shorter man’s shoulder, concern marking his brow; his usual, lazy smile is missing. 

“Fuck, Sollux, you nub-suckling Ziploc bag of festering—Shit, I don’t even know how that’s supposed to make sense I’m so pissed off at you—“ He storms towards the man, though the bite in his words is lacking. Tears threaten to spill, but he disregards them. The taller follows in silence, battling with himself over keeping his distance and clutching his lover close, wishing to protect him from… Well.

The room gives off the feeling of being all too sterile, crisp and white and blank. A curtain is drawn, separating Sollux’s bed from his neighbor’s. The blinds are open, but it’s cloudy enough outside that little light trickles through; rather, the overhead fluorescents cast an unnatural glow about the room. The blond is pallid, most of the colour missing in his features. A number of machines and IVs are hooked up to him in various places, none of them really worth describing in detail. His hair is a mess, sticking to his brow with sweat; the whites of his eyes are yellow, skin tinged a similar colour, and the pain is obvious in his expression despite the forced smile he presents. The hospital gown looks wrong on him; he should be wearing his usual dorky get up, converse and too many hoodies, iPod in hand and headphones around his neck, grey jeans and a v-neck t shirt of some obscure dubstep band no one’s heard of, eyes bright with mischief from something or…

Karkat arrives at Sollux’s bedside, gusto having left him. He stands stiffly, shoulders drawn and fists clenched at his sides. He takes a moment to consider punching his best friend, but decides against it, if only because the nurse is still keeping watch just outside. Finally, crystalline orbs spill from amber-hazel eyes, slipping down flushed cheeks in anger, in fright. 

The blonde laughs, shakes his head. 

It’s so surreal, to see him so ill, it isn’t right, it just isn’t right—

“You can stop with the water works you know. It’s not like I’m dyi… Okay, well, yeah. But still.” Sollux’s voice is raspy, more so than usual; even his lisp is more pronounced. Karkat can hear the weariness in his words and how he’s struggling with biting back the pain. 

“We knew this day was long overdue, man.” 

A hand reaches out and brushes against Karkat’s own. He relaxes, if only slightly, and a trembling fist unfurls, letting his best friend of thirty some odd years take it in an attempt to comfort him. Karkat’s expression twists, the sadness attempting to outdo his irritation.

“I told—I fucking t-told you, those God damn cigarettes were gonna…” 

“Haha. Yeah, yeah… As if I haven’t heard that a million times before.” 

Karkat shatters. He dissolves into tears, ducking forward and pulling Sollux into as much of an embrace as he can manage despite the wires and tubes. The blonde blinks, a little surprised; the brunet was never much of one for hugs. 

When he’d received a call that Sollux was in the hospital from lung cancer, he’d nearly wanted to laugh. He’d told him, he’d told him for years that this was going to happen. And now, here they were, Sollux at age 43 and in the hospital, fighting for his life. It was too surreal. Too impossible to fathom. 

“You told me so?” Sollux whispers, wrapping a tentative arm around Karkat’s neck. The man heaves, willing the sobs away with all of his might as tears continue to fall. 

“I fucking told you so.”

01:37:48:02 and counting. 

“It’s so weird,” he whispers. 

Karkat stirs from his almost slumber, exhaustion having finally won him over a few minutes prior. He scrubs at his eyes, trying to force the sleepiness from them. 

“What is,” he mumbles, vision finally focusing on Sollux. 

He’s lying on his back, staring at the empty space to his left. Karkat is curled up in a chair near the foot of the bed; Gamzee left quite a few hours ago, escorted by Kanaya back to his and Karkat’s apartment. 

Sollux blinks once, twice, then his gaze drifts to find Karkat. A disbelieving smile cracks his stoic expression, and Karkat frowns. 

“What’s that look for?”

“You’re… Sitting right there, right?” Sollux breathes, the rasp nearly making his words indiscernible. Karkat gives him a ‘you-don’t-fucking-say’ sort of look. When the blond doesn’t take note of it, however, he rolls his eyes, nodding. 

“Yeah, I’m right here. So what?”

Sollux’s head swivels back around, staring emptily at the spot beside his bed. 

“But you’re right here, too. Younger, though, you’re… Sixteen again, haha.” 

Karkat’s eyes go wide, heart dropping into his stomach. The words of the nurse echo in his ears. 

“Morphine at such high dosages may cause hallucinations of various sorts, so don’t be surprised if he starts saying strange or unusual things. Just play along until it passes, would be my recommendation.”

He swallows, his mouth becoming that of a desert. 

“Yeah, man. I see what you mean.” He laughs, nervously. “Weird, huh?”

Sollux looks back at him, almost giddy with the prospect of his younger best friend visiting him, even if only in the form of an apparition. 

“So weird.” 

Sollux quickly returns his attention to this younger Karkat standing in the room with them, captivated by this figure that only he can bear witness to. 

Karkat can really get a good look at him now. There are wrinkles forming on his forehead and around his eyes. He can even see a bit of a laugh line. It isn’t unattractive or unexpected, really; the man was going on forty four after all. He can almost spot a bit of grey right near his temple, even, threatening his ridiculous side burns. His skin is far more yellowed than should be healthy, he notes, and a thin sheen of sweat still covers his brow. He’s skinnier than he remembers, too; he muses over the thought of Sollux slicing someone with his deadly-sharp wrist bones. His grin is far from normal—delirious at best, really. 

It scares him.

Karkat sits in silent shock, letting that realisation sink in. 

That wasn’t his friend sitting before him, any more. Just a delusional, sick man, imagining a boy standing at his bed side. 

That wasn’t… That couldn’t be his best friend.

It couldn’t. 

00:02:54:27 and counting. 

“… Hey, Karkat.” 

Karkat looks up from the magazine he’d been idly skimming, surprised to find Sollux staring out the window. Was the spell from before over? 

“Mm.”

“What do you think it’s like to die?”

Karkat grimaces, then glares.

“Don’t think like that.”

Sollux fixes him with a stern gaze.

“Think like what? Realistically?”

“That’s not what I—“

“What do you think it’s like to die.” 

Sollux’s expression is firm, hands clasped tightly in his lap; still, his arms are trembling.

Karkat sighs, closing the magazine.

“I’ve heard… I’ve heard it’s a lot like falling asleep. To slip into a warm bath of honey and milk, and you let go of your control.” He clears his throat, staring rather pointedly at the floor. “Once you let go of the reigns, you just sink below the surface. Let it wash over you until you fall asleep. And then you—“

He cuts himself short. 

“… And then you don’t wake up.”

Karkat looks up at his friend, obvious sadness in his eyes. 

“… Yeah.”

00:00:02:34 and counting. 

A sharp gasp rouses Karkat from his dozing as he starts awake, terror gripping him. The machines are beeping, blaring, making all kinds of unpleasant noises—it’s obnoxious, it’s distracting, it’s terrifying, it’s Sollux Sollux he’s oh God oh no oh please no

Karkat leaps from his chair, rushing to the man’s side. 

Sollux stares unseeingly at the ceiling, pain twisting his expression, gripping him and shaking him to his very core. The morphine wasn’t enough to quell a pain such as this. A hand lifts into the air, shaking, groping blindly for some sort of anchor. Karkat takes it without question, gripping it tightly and giving him a reassuring squeeze. He can hear the nurses down the hall as they begin to catch on to the situation, scrambling to report to his room, figure out what was happening and do what they could to stop it. 

Suddenly the blond’s head snaps around, green eyes settling on Karkat. He finds matching orbs of amber, and a sort of comfort floods him. He’s safe. He knows he’s safe. 

“Kar, I—“ He jolts, another wave of pain wracking his frail frame. A nurse bustles in, attempts to start shutting down machines, tries in vain to urge Karkat away from the bed.

00:00:00:04 and counting. 

“I love you.”

00:00:00:00.


End file.
